The Holiday Rush

In November I began the holiday rush. Now the rush I am referring to is not the running from store to store shopping for Christmas presents. I am reffering to the frantic search to find someone remotely interesting enough to consider dating long enough to get through the family holiday dinners being able to aswer "Yes, I actually am seeing somoene." The search for someone that could give you just enough to look forward to so you don't end up drinking an entire bottle of champagne on New Year's Eve by yourself, while watching Bridget Jones Diary and crying yourself to sleep. The looming New Year's Eve ignites a slight panic in me before Thanksgiving these days, therefore I call this fear the holiday rush. The rush was strong enough this year that in a moment of weakness I ignored one of my former "lessons learned" and I signed back on e-harmony. I decided I was going to be proactive and I started scheduling 2-3 dates a week. It was exhausting trying to fit them into my schedule and keep them straight. At 5:30 I would have to reread their profile so I could remember who I was having coffee or a cocktail with. And as always, the only one I was was interested in, the one I met at 6:00pm and we closed the coffee shop at 10:00pm, the one I felt like I'd been myself with the most, the one who was actually moving into my dream house on Lincoln Park in the next month, never called. It was such a bruise to my ego. I have had plenty of superficial first dates, where the conversation is pleasant, but we don't really connect very much. Why are these the men that call? And if they don't, I don't really care. But when you actually feel like you were yourself and you actually talked about real things, and you are so engrossed in conversation that you both fail to notice the staff stacking the chairs up around you, and HE doesn't call. Ugh, it's like a punch in the gut. All I can contemplate 4 days later when you officially know he won't be calling is What's wrong with the real me?
Lesson Learned: STOP REPEATING FORMER MISTAKES! No more e-harmony. For real this time.